You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
