I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk is not a location!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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