the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
