im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize