Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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