There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
