Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
