This girl is more easily done than said...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
