wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
