I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
