Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
