Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am mentally ready for anal.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
