i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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