i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize