Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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