Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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