it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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