She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
