I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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