i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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