if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
