lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
