i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
