We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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