I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
