The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
