Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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