Where is the hickey?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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