But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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