Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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