Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize