Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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