So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Drake has all the answers
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
