My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize