it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
