Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
