Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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