I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How does one acquire holy water?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
