the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
