well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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