You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize