tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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