No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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