is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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