but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
