This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What a dumb baby whore.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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