hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
