DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
