Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
