dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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