he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
