I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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