With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
