i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The air taste purple.
Randomize
