yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
