i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I forget how to act sober
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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