drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can I color on your dick again?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
