Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
