I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
