Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
