high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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