in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
