Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
